Royal Tart Toter by RevolutionaryBluSoul, literature
Literature
Royal Tart Toter
This cosmic dance of bursting decadence and withheld permissions twists all our arms collectively, but if sweetness can win, and it can, then I'll still be here tomorrow to high-five you yesterday, my friend. Peace.
Self Hate
They tell me I cant be perfect,
That useless Ill always be;
They say Im so worthless,
That failures the only thing Ill see.
Looking in the mirror,
Ill list all my flaws;
I will stay secluded,
In these four walls.
Since its what I deserve,
Ill endure the pain;
Mentally unstable,
Im no longer sane.
Its horrible to know,
There is no end to this I can see;
Its even worse to say,
The one telling me this
Is me.
A whisper of silence,
A shiver of death,
A blanket of fear,
These arms glisten crimson
Angry raging red
Sprayed across the bathroom floor
The numbing pain approaches,
And soothes my frantic mind
For just a short time
Til reality crashes down again.
Two little words
now forever holds my arm
proof from my past
that cries me to sleep at night
the scars will be
my reminded of failure
of my attempts to be happy
that were just too far away
a stupid reminder
of the pain i felt
a stupid sign
of my abuse
32 times
i almost gave up
32 times
i filled my own head with lies
you're worthless
you're stupid
you're unloved
you're hated
the words filled my head
those 32 times
and felt like stone
crashing down
my depression has worsen
from the time before
now i'm wondering
how i'll survive
The world's weight is sometimes too much to carry.
I realize that you're there for me,
but I've got everything resting on my shoulders.
Breathing would be nice to do, but I'm trapped beneath the water.
I plead with nothing as I suck the water into my e x p a n d i n g lungs.
It's stealing my life right out of my hands.
Our friend was broken, no, shattered at my feet; like a fool I try to fix it.
I needed you once, seems like a lifetime again when things were pretty.
A lifetime again when you left my with deep wounds inflicted on my heart.
Sometimes picking up a pen and writing all the hurt and saying goodbye looks nice.
Just think:
Often I wonder
When I'm "better"
What will I write about?
My pain drapes my life
With a dark inspiration
One that never runs dry.
When I'm happy
Will I find inspiration
In other places?
What will I do
When I'm actually happy?
Will anybody enjoy
My happy works of art?
Will everyone still think
I'm have at least a little talent?
Or do they only enjoy
The poison I drip out of my veins
Onto the paper?
It was the moment she said goodbye
She held me for the last time
Now you are gone, no one knows where to
No one sees the pain you've left behind
Just beyond the horizon you'll find her
All the pieces you have left behind
Welcome to the first day off the rest of your life
For the first time you opened your eyes
You saw this world for what it really was
Without the clouds of your anger
So you left this town, and all you knew
You left us all wondering why
When a single tear fell from your eye
It seems like only a moment ago
You laughed with us, loved us
Like there was no future no worries
You screamed without a sound
Now you see